a fist amidst the hands.

i am a fist amidst the hands, i will not be complacent and i know my rights but more importantly i know yours. your life is dictated by the word of the law but mine is defined by the sacrifices i am willing to make in and of my life for the progression of a reformed world where black and white dont tell us what is and isnt but shades of grey work for the greater good and people are given the opportunity to form their own opinions and no longer have to choke down those of the glitterati and "elected" representatives. one man cannot speak for thousands who will not speak for themselves, if you do not have the courage to speak you do not deserve to be counted. an idea formed in your own head by your own volition will be fought for and those not willing to fight do not believe in themselves and i will not believe in them. times are changing, we are running out of rope and its up to you how far you are willing to jump.

Me and Mikayla are heros.

drifting past our faces
laughing at the suns presence
faster and faster my heart races
as the grass caresses me all over
our minutes drift away
following the skyline on their great migration
the clouds look as if they have something to say,
they form to display a flower bouquet?
to dog to boat, to fish to goat
the shapes drift on and reform like all things in time
hah.. that was almost liek a dr. suess quote .
is this supposed to mean something?

self identity.

its amazing how much you can change when you forget who are you. my closet is full of clothes that hang in forms of people i once was, people i don't even know anymore. the people ive tried to befriend, the girls ive tried to impress its pathetic to think my persona was dictated by the people around me and explains why i know absolutely nothing about myself. i'm a stranger in my own head, a foreign object in the layers of my subconscious tumbling farther to the core of the problem. every thought i have is contradicted by the next and i find myself going to great lengths to explain ideas i already know. every day the ice holding up my self identity is getting thinner and the cracks forming in my mind bleed thoughts i cant begin to comprehend. its getting harder to tell my own feelings from those forced on me by my surroundings. i can only hope the future brings more clarity and wait patiently for myself to show up.

i shot the pilot.

this plane is going down, i shot the pilot and the sky is falling fast as blue fades into green you have minutes left. 40,000 feet, and what are you thinking about? loved ones? 30,000 feet, no? thinking about your past, well you have no future 20,000 feet, how about the person next to you? do they even exist right now 10,000 feet, putting your mask on and bracing for impact, you must know that's pointless 50 feet, and not one of you thought to check the pilot.

slow dancing.

hold me tighter while we sway, our hearts don't move in time so how could our feet ever hope to. with every left it seems you go right and i'm so cold without you leaning on me. i'm such a lazy dancer. please just breath deep with me and let your movements dictate mine cause ill spend the rest of my life trying to move with you.

better luck next time.

better luck next time she in so many words. my cards grew cold on the table before she could discard my hearts for lack of spades in my life. she knew my hand couldent beat hers the moment we made eye contact and my pokerface faded into an akward smile that discounted all the bluffs and trump cards i could have ever tried my luck with. shes a brilliant player and now all she has to say is better luck next time.

first kiss.

atleast i know what its like to kiss you
the warm pressure on my lips
the sparks rushing through my blood ignighting every nerve in my body
a catatonic state of no thoughts
the hold you have over me is somthing
undenyable
unending
i might die without knowing what it couldev been
but i wont die with any regret in my mind.