Saturday, September 4, 2010
its amazing how much you can change when you forget who are you. my closet is full of clothes that hang in forms of people i once was, people i don't even know anymore. the people ive tried to befriend, the girls ive tried to impress its pathetic to think my persona was dictated by the people around me and explains why i know absolutely nothing about myself. i'm a stranger in my own head, a foreign object in the layers of my subconscious tumbling farther to the core of the problem. every thought i have is contradicted by the next and i find myself going to great lengths to explain ideas i already know. every day the ice holding up my self identity is getting thinner and the cracks forming in my mind bleed thoughts i cant begin to comprehend. its getting harder to tell my own feelings from those forced on me by my surroundings. i can only hope the future brings more clarity and wait patiently for myself to show up.